Motherhood and War: The Challenges Faced by Mothers Who Joined the Security and Defense Forces

Motherhood during war is an act of courage that often goes unnoticed. Thousands of women serve on the front lines while raising children, yet their choice is too often met not with respect, but with judgment and painful words.

On social media, mothers who fight frequently face comments like: “You abandoned your child,” “What kind of mother doesn’t raise her own kid,” or “Why can’t you transfer to serve closer to your family?” Instead of receiving support when they share their stories, many women in uniform are met with a wave of hostility. They are cursed, accused of “betraying motherhood,” and their service is dismissed.

Because of this constant criticism, many servicewomen avoid disclosing their status in schools or kindergartens. They try to shield both themselves and their children from additional pain.

What society praises as heroism in men, in women turns into reproach. Female soldiers not only serve, but must also justify their right to remain mothers. At the same time, the presence of relatives who support the child is often overlooked.

Children, too, suffer from this stigma when teachers or other parents make remarks like: “Your mom is somewhere out there, she doesn’t have time for you.” Peers repeat these words in the form of painful questions: “Did your mom abandon you?” Such comments fuel anxiety, cause panic, and deepen the feeling of loneliness.

Under pressure from classmates and adults, children may withdraw, avoid social contact, and stop inviting friends home. This robs them of a normal childhood. They may begin to think: “It’s my fault my mom went to war,” or “My mom is different from the others.” Such thoughts are deeply damaging to their self-esteem.

These children endure a double loss: first, physical separation from their mother due to her service; then, emotional distance caused by society’s words and behavior. The child may come to feel as if they are left without a mother entirely, even when she stays in touch.

Motherhood during wartime is a trial that should not be made harder by condemnation and humiliation. These women have already made an incredibly difficult choice by going to serve. Instead of further judgment, they deserve respect and support — and their children deserve to feel pride, not shame.